Young’s Bible Dictionary defines marriage as follows:
The union of a man and a woman first consummated in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve. This union became the pattern for all others to follow (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:46). (Young, 359)
Having lived a Christian life for some time now, I can testify about the making of a joyful marriage. As I set out to write this testimony, my mind quickly raced back along the journey Prudence (my wife) and I have taken together. My wife joined the family just when I had responded to the call of God to work fulltime in ministry. We started this journey together in January 1990, and God has since blessed us with five children. We have already celebrated 36 anniversaries, and God is still leading us together. One might ask, “Has it been pleasant every single day?” No, but we made it pleasant as we faced challenges along the way. Praise God, we know who brought us here and into this relationship. Even today, we know who the Source of marriage is, and without Him in the block [in the mix], there is no relationship that can last the tests of time, let alone be enjoyable in the process.
Testimony of Love
Our family grew steadily as I felt the power of love from Prudence, and I believe she felt the same from me as well. Her love radiated throughout the house during the day and the night. I could feel it as the Holy Spirit moved in our home. The truth that God is love cannot be denied because that is exactly how things have worked in our life all these years. Keep in mind, I worked in ministry both near home and far away. As ministry responsibilities grew, time for the family sometimes had to be shared with the congregants, but we did all this together. My life partner is a schoolteacher. She has responsibilities outside the home as well. Often, she will come home exhausted, and I can see that my little “angel” is tired, but as duty calls, it is sometimes necessary for me to go out to fulfill the work of the ministry. When I come home, she is the same person, glittering in love.
In order to understand our love story, it is helpful to understand how the Oxford Dictionary explains love: “an intense feeling of deep affection.” Because love is based on feelings, it can be hurt. Therefore, it needs to be taken care of. Love can be hurt by behavior, words, and other related actions. Even certain looks can contribute to the hurt that affects love. I became very mindful even of my speech because words may be interpreted differently at times.
As mentioned previously, Prudence and I knew who brought us into this marriage, and He must always be consulted should misunderstandings arise between the two of us as a couple. To enjoy marriage, you must have a strong relationship with the One who designed it. Surely, that is God Himself. Dr. Wallace Pratt, in one of his marriage workshops in Eswatini, emphasized that in every successful and enjoyable marriage, God must equally sit above both individuals, the husband and the wife. Dr. Pratt also presented the marriage triangle, which starts with God at the apex and both the husband and wife at the base corners of the triangle. Unless God controls the house, there is no joy in the marriage; instead, there will only be ENDURANCE in the house.
My conviction about marriage is that joyful relationships thrive excellently where intimacy is highly valued and allowed to command a space in the house. Genesis 2:24 indicates that God created human beings who would share intimacy in their marriage relationship. The two words that seem to be pillars of the message in this verse are LEAVE and CLEAVE. “To leave” means to go to a new location, while “to cleave” means to adhere to, be glued firmly, be joined, and to abide securely or cling to.
The above statement accurately reveals the heart of God about marriage: It was never meant to put people under the yoke of endurance, but instead, God intended to put the man and the woman in a relationship of joyfulness, togetherness, and oneness. That is why Adam, in the Garden of Eden, sprang into a poetic song when Eve was introduced to him. “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called a woman” (Genesis 2:23). He was celebrating the love of God between Eve and himself.
Family Testimony
My wife and I, each of us being individuals within the family, understand that we are ONE in the sight of God. Her praise and burdens are mine because we are one unit before God. I have noted how God calculates in marriage setups: 1 + 1 = 1. This is what makes us fight the challenges of life together, and then we also celebrate victories together. I never allow my wife to fight battles alone, and she does the same for me.
The secret of this joyful marriage is love, respect, and honesty toward one another. While writing this brief testimony, I asked Prudence what her testimony is when it comes to a successful and joyful marriage. This was her response:
As a born-again child of God, it is always significant to remain a Christian all the time. All decisions and behavior should reflect your love for God. A two-faced life, lack of honesty, can destroy a marriage. These are the godly values that have kept us together.
I agree with her. In our marriage, we should celebrate God’s love. When we do so, peace will prevail in our homes.
Marriage is mainly supported by what we bring into it together. My “self” as an individual plus her “self” will bring perfect results as long as God is above and in control of our thoughts and actions. Sadly, many marriages fail, and many that remain never live up to expectations. The reason behind the failure is simply the failure to recognize the supremacy of God’s Word for our guidance. Many families rely on their cultures for guidance, but when cultures clash with godly values, then a chaotic situation erupts in the family. Our homes, especially our bedrooms, should not be battlefields filled with hurtful words but places of peace and safety, rest, and enjoyment of the love that we each brought into the marriage.
There are several Christian disciplines that promote Christian values and are beneficial for our families:
- Love (Ephesians 5:25)
- Prayer (1 Corinthians 7:1–5)
- Holiness (Hebrews 13:4)
- Respect (Ephesians 5:21)
- Satisfaction (1 Corinthians 10:24)
Based on our own experience, I can confirm that God has been with us throughout our matrimonial journey, and we can conclude as a family that, since God is love, no truly successful and joyful marriage will ever survive without Him.
