T H E PASTOR’ S TA B L E
Janet and I have been the lead pastors of Bethesda Worship Center in Sheridan, Wyoming, since 1998. During that time, we had three boys, and they are now all adults themselves. I am sure that your work and family dynamics are somewhat different than mine, but most all of us can relate to the struggle of “balancing our time.” One thing we all have in common is the amount of time in our day—we all get 24 hours. What differs between us is how we spend that time.
I am learning that a “balanced life” is mostly unachievable. If I try to manage my time, or balance it, I usually disappoint those around me and end up feeling guilty. So, I have quit trying! Instead, I have found great peace in focusing more on identifying and living in my “season.” The wise man Solomon stated, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT).
When my wife and I were raising our children, I was working full-time as a pastor. Janet was working full-time as a stay-at-home mom. After some disappointing days of having to change her schedule due to various situations with the boys, a friend encouraged her with these words: “This is only for a season.” And it was! As our boys have grown, we have experienced many different seasons in all areas of life. I now try to live my life by seasons and not by the incredibly frustrating task of “balancing my days.” The verse in Ecclesiastes is just one of several references in the Bible that speaks about seasons in life.
I am learning that it is important for me to identify what season I am in and then to communicate that information (the season) to the necessary people around me. For example, in some seasons, I have needed to spend more time with family. In other seasons, I needed to be more present at the church. Still, there are some seasons when I need to take time for refreshing and personal renewal.
Identifying the season is relatively easy for me, but the challenge is for me to allow the season to change. Our seasons must change! If all I ever do is stay home with my family, that is not a season; it is how I am choosing to live my life. If my weeks are continually consumed only with work, that is not a season; it is my lifestyle.
In addition to recognizing the season I am in, I must also be intentional about communicating this to the necessary people. While our children were growing up, there were seasons when I had to communicate to them that I would not be at home as much (for a few days at a time) because the church’s needs were demanding. I did not ask their permission to be more present at the church, but I explained to them why it was necessary and asked them to bless me in that season.
I also learned to communicate more intentionally with our church family in much the same way. When necessary, I will let them know what season I am in. (When we were a smaller church, I would let the whole church know. Now that we have grown, I primarily inform the staff and leadership.) Perhaps I need to be with my wife and children more because of a recent hectic church schedule. I do not ask the church’s permission—I inform them of why and ask them to bless me in that season. I have discovered that this is healthy for both families—my wife and children, and our church family. By modeling this in front of our staff and leaders, I have seen them practice the same, and the result has been healthier staff and leadership, as well as healthier families for them. In turn, this has produced a healthier congregation.
Although seasons are made to change, purpose is consistent. Therefore, purpose is greater than seasons. I try to see God’s purpose and how He might be most glorified through what or whom I am focusing on in any particular season. If I go to a family event, I pray that God might be glorified through my showing up in that role. If I serve a need through the church, my prayer is that God is glorified through my showing up there as well.
One practical tool that I use that helps me to identify the season I am in and helps me to be intentional about changing seasons is an appointment book. Keeping an appointment book helps me to prioritize by asking myself, “Where must I show up that no one else can be in my place?” These events might be concerts, ball games, birthday parties, and anniversaries, along with officiating funerals and weddings, and preparing trainings, to name a few. I make sure to put all these items on my calendar and appointment book in the office. As I look over my days, weeks, and months, I am continually challenged to prayerfully, thoughtfully, and intentionally plan my schedule.
Yes, there have been times when I did not meet the expectations of a church member because I had family plans, and other times when I have disappointed my family by upholding commitments with the church. I let that be okay! By communicating with my family and the church, I am able to be intentionally present in each setting.
My challenge to you is to identify what season you are in right now, and who needs to know it. I would encourage you to communicate that to the necessary people. Finally, I pray that you live with great purpose. Remember that God’s purpose for you is greater than your season. If you seek to glorify Him in every season, you will carry out His purposes for you in this life. After all, our purpose is always to bring glory to our great God!
